So, a good portion of part of my new morning routine is exercise. I, like most of us, have a true love/hate relationship with this. I have chosen to invest a large portion of my time here because of something a client and friend Amy told me – is that think of exercising like an investment in your business – because right now in my business if I’m not well or low in energy my business directly suffers. Plus there’s all of the I want to be healthier – which is the story I say out loud and I also know I want to be skinnier. Because, well, there’s that vanity. And I’m not gonna lie.
My good friend William told me to do 40 – 45 mins of weights and then 20 – 25 mins of cardio. And, to wear layers and a sweatshirt so that I sweat more and get truly really disgusting. So that’s what I’ve been doing – all bundled up and hitting the weights each morning (weekdays). Then off to the treadmill or the elliptical for a good bit more of sweating. And truly. It’s disgusting. Because I have short hair and don’t want to subject the public to my amazing morning hair I wear a hat as well – which has the added benefit of soaking up the sweat before it drips in my face and off of my neck. Because yes, it’s that gross.
I’ve been doing this now for a little over a month. And I’m starting to notice a few things. Some good and all of that and some, well some I think make me human. And female.
For starters, I have actually noticed that I am starting to feel “tighter” and stronger. So positive. And – I have noticed a strange tie back to my business that I didn’t expect. Actually, I believe that Geeta had told me this before but I didn’t really truly hear it until now. There are still days when I’m like “if I have to do another lunge I will kill someone” or “I can’t do any more push ups”
BUT I have found this strange sense of self-determination and sheer will that allows me to push past the mental barrier until the actual physical my muscles give out barrier. And then I feel so amazing that I did it! And then that sense of accomplishment carries through to the rest of my day and when things come up that seem hard or painful I know I can push through. So it’s strange how sweating like some sort of crazed eggplant-tomato colored face spaz at the gym can really have an impact on what happens in my business. Definitely a cool side effect that I didn’t expect.
And then there are the other things. The not so uplifting I’m a bitter girl type things. When I signed up for my membership at the gym the recruiter started to try to tell me all about how burning this many calories equals a pound of fat and that I should try to do… blah blah blah. I had to cut him off because I’m like look – I know that I have a very tough time losing weight and I don’t want to get my hopes up. All I want to do now is commit to the process. And I did. And I meant it at the time. I think.
But – I’m only human. And female. And I did get my hopes up that I would see some changes. And I have – I’m actually gaining weight, which is totally awesome. I know, it’s muscle weight, yada yada. Still though, that fucking scale. I did take my measurements to be able to have a more accurate read, but we’ll see how that plays.
I find myself getting into the judgement zone and looking at the perfect barbie doll ladies that come in, hair all done and makeup on and don’t sweat during their workout and look amazing. And mostly I hate them. I am trying to tell myself that they may be going through their own journey and that I can’t judge a book by the cover, and all of that. So I think it’s a good lesson in finding a way to care more about other people than to just judge. And sometimes I win and sometimes I just can’t help but think… dem skinny bitches.
One other note that I have found is this. I have done a few of the group classes to change it up a bit and work different muscles, etc. I found that I am more competitive than I had thought. And I found that I’m REALLY uncoordinated and also OLD. LOL I did this class where they had the music up so loud and the girl teaching thought that if she put the microphone up RIGHT NEXT TO HER MOUTH that it would be easier to hear her. So you have music being distorted because it’s so loud and then the girl yelling into the mic and it sounds like those really old drive throughs where you can’t understand a single word they are saying. And yet – as I looked around the class – I seemed to to be the only one that couldn’t understand her. Everyone else got it. So there I am – old and sweating and thinking they need to turn the music down. Besides which I’m learning my brain and body don’t always communicate so well. Step step punch kick turns into me laughing at myself and doing like punch step – duh what is this leg doing? It is actually pretty comical.
Overall I’m truly enjoying my time and know that I’m better for it both physically and mentally. But sometimes the pain and struggles are real. And no one really talks about it – so I guess it’s gonna be me to start it out. 😊